


Texting You Again (And Again)

by ThisPeep



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Read at Your Own Risk, it is all angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 09:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2223621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisPeep/pseuds/ThisPeep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all boiled down to a choice. The circumstances of it were irrelevant, all that mattered what what he picked. If he should have made a different choice. Most importantly, it mattered that he still held onto the hope who he was texting would reply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting You Again (And Again)

When it came down to it, the final choice, Sherlock was meant to chose Jim. Of course he was, the two of them were perfect together. Everyone else was an annoyance, in the way. He didn’t even like his own brother, for goodness sake’s.

So yes, clearly, obviously, Sherlock would chose Jim. His lover of three years, not that they said love but it was a mutual understanding that they both cared deeply but hated that word. It was pollution and death to a relationship like theirs.

Not to say that Jim and Sherlock’s relationship was emotionless, because it most certainly was not. Jim had nightmares and would wake up in the middle of the night, crying out and finding Sherlock wrapped around him protectively, and Jim’d shake and hyperventilate as Sherlock lulled him back to sleep. Sherlock got bored and frustrated and fed up, so Jim texted his puzzles. Cold cases. Sent him food when he forgot to eat, sent presents or addresses when Sherlock started to feel lonely. Through the times that Jim had cried, usually high on something and yearning for death, Sherlock learned it was best to kiss him sweetly and ignore the tears streaming down Jim’s face as he kissed back.

So no, it wasn’t an uncaring relationship at any level. Perhaps not the best of relationships, but it most definitely held rather large amounts of sentimentality for two people who claimed they had none. They’d sleep curled around each other, _not_ -cuddle on the couch while watching something silly, touch all the time. So Sherlock had to pick Jim, really, because Jim was the obvious choice. He needed Sherlock and Sherlock needed him right back.

Sherlock chose John.

Jim had progressively grown more jealous of John, him and Sherlock weren’t romantically involved but Jim couldn’t bring himself to believe they were entirely platonic either. But it wasn’t the romance that made Sherlock pick him, the need for a best friend more than an lover- more than an equal.

Jim quickly realized what that meant. Forcing Sherlock to chose meant that Sherlock had left him, and he toyed with the plans he made for Sherlock’s death a long time ago. But he couldn’t, couldn’t imagine himself enjoying or even standing a world without Sherlock Holmes. 

No, Sherlock would get to spend the rest of his life with John Watson, his doctor and friend.

Jim spent the rest of his life as tomorrow, having some particularly rough sex with a nameless employee, kicking him out and shooting up almost immediately afterwards. He called in someone else, doing the whole thing over again. If it was his last day he would enjoy it as much as he could which admittedly wasn’t that much without Sherlock there with him. 

Finally, it was ten to midnight. Jim fumbled with his phone, rereading his text over twelve times to make sure there weren’t any typos. He sent it, the clock struck midnight, and a trigger was pulled as a reply message came through. 

[March 11, 23:59] Don’t do anything stupid after I’m gone. Goodbye, lover. JMxo

[March 12, 00:01] Jim? SH

[March 12, 00:03] Jim! SH

[March 12, 00:05] Jim, please. SH

[March 12, 00:09] Don’t do this to me, you made me pick. SH

[March 12, 00:13] Don’t you dare Jim. SH

[March 12, 00:15] Please. SH

[March 17, 23:05] Your sniper hates me, it seems. SH

[March 18, 02:47] Thinks it was my fault. SH

[March 18, 02:50] At least we finally agree on something. SH

[March 18, 03:13] You would have laughed at that. SH

[March 18, 03:17] Or not. I don’t know. SH

[March 18, 03:20] I never will know. SH

[March 29, 20:01] mycrog foudn your body SH

[March 29, 20:03] bullet t o the head SH

[March 29, 20:04] itsn ot grand enogyh for you SH

[May 10, 04:00] I miss you. SH

[May 10, 04:02] I had to save John. SH

[May 10, 04:19] I regret saving John. SH

[August 2, 13:00] Officially out of rehab. SH

[August 2, 13:01] Again. SH

[August 20, 08:20] I hate you, you utterly selfish _**bastard**_. SH

[August 20, 08:23] _I SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO CHOSE_. SH

[September 3, 10:00] I loved you. SH

[September 3, 10:01] I still love you. SH

[September 11, 23:57] Happy six month 'you're dead' anniversary. SH

[September 11, 23:59] See you soon, Jim. SH

**Author's Note:**

> i just read a really depressing sheriarty fix so here i am to spread the pain with my own angsty sheriarty


End file.
